Tag Archives: love

Beautiful Boy

We went to dinner last night, and then took Nick for a haircut. Great Clips, as you do. He patiently waited for his turn. Then, when it was his turn, he smiled and made small talk with the hair stylist.

He made small talk with the stylist.

For years, the same stylists would try to talk to him and he smiled at them with nothing to say. Or at least, without the ability, confidence, social skills to say anything. There has always been a lot going on inside, it just didn’t have a way out.

The stylist looked at me a couple times during the haircut and said “Does he ever get upset?” and “He is sweet down to his core.” and to him “You are my very favorite client.” and “You have made my whole day. We should all be more like you.”

The stylist next to her poked her head over and said “He smiled the whole time, didn’t he? I have never seen him not smiling.”

Sometimes a simple haircut can make a mom’s day too.

With his sister away with a friend for the weekend, he is enjoying his special time. We had donuts for breakfast and have already made cookies and played foosball.

He asked if I was letting him catch up to me in foosball. The truth? Nope. He loves foosball and is getting better and better every day. He’ll be beating me soon enough, so I’m taking all the wins I can right now. And when he beats me, he’ll know it was because he won, fair and square.

We’re honest with each other like that. At the end of the game, for a split second he might be sad that he lost, but faster than you can even realize it, he’s happy that I won. Because he loves me and he wants me to win everything. He roots for everyone before himself.

As we were making the cookies he started singing “Beautiful Boy” quietly to himself. I didn’t even know he knew that song but I joined right in singing with him. He smiled even bigger.

I asked him where he learned the song. It’s from a movie he likes, so no mom points for introducing him to the greats. We sang it together once and then he started changing the words to be Beautiful Fiona and Beautiful LuLu. He didn’t want to be the center of attention.

But he is the center of my attention. Even when I’m not doing a great job of showing him that. So I grabbed him, and we danced a little, and sang some more.

Me and my Beautiful Boy. 



Maggie has had birthday money burning a hole in her pocket for over a month now. (In previous years, we deposited birthday money straight into her college fund, but this year she caught on.) Yesterday she decided she wanted to buy a Build-A-Bear for herself to go with the one I brought home for her from a conference I went to last year.

I was lucky enough to hear a talk given by Build-A-Bear creator Maxine Clark who has a heart of gold. (I will admit here that I had always refused to even take the kids into B-A-B because I assumed the marketing was a ploy to get kids to want and buy and “mom, can I have this?” Which, to be honest, they do a great job of marketing, but there actually is more to it.)

This morning when Maggie offered to buy her brother a bear also, I said “Let’s go!” and away we went.

Both of the kids were enchanted with choosing their own bear, watching them get stuffed, wishing on the heart and putting it in, watching them be stitched up into a real “live” bear, giving them an air bath, and of course, picking out some clothes.

Nick bathed his bear about 7 times while Maggie shopped for accessories.

build-a-bear May I introduce the newest member of our clan – Sparkle (purple) and Magilda who has been with us for almost two years now.

Nick was determined before we left that he was going to get a pink bear. I thought I’d be able to talk him into a brown bear with pink clothes in case he changed his mind later about the pink.

pink bearBut this is how he rolls. A pink bear with a Cars T-shirt, black jeans, black loafers, and yellow hair bows. Oh, and her name is Chloe. (Please to notice his own green striped shirt and plaid pants.)

But he loves her. And so do I.

Maggie got a handful of accessories including this:

snorkeling suitbecause every bear needs a snorkeling suit.

I *may* be using the new bears as a ploy to get Nick to sleep all night by himself which he totally does when I am not home. When I am home, he wakes up and wants me to sleep with him.

*Note – when I sleep in his bed upstairs I have a 100% chance of being able to sleep later than if I sleep in my own bed which *could* have something to do with how long this has gone on. Ahem.

“Is she alive? Will she move?” he asked.

Maggie jumped right in with the perfect answer. “She is alive. She may not move in front of you, but the love you give her makes her alive.”

little man

A few things that I love about my son right now:

He has become a singing machine.  Sometimes it takes me a few seconds to figure out exactly what song he is preforming, but they are adorable.

No matter what he is doing, if I call to him and hold my arms out for a huge hug, he will stop whatever it was to come running to me with a crooked little grin on his face.

He loves to wear his sister’s hand-me-down pajamas.

He is parroting so much of what I say (which is great for a number of reasons) that I feel like I have a shadow that speaks.

He eats everything.  Anything.  All of it.

He still does his happy dance when he gets really excited. (think snoopy with the feet twirling.)

He sat in the car today and counted to 20 for no reason.  Which I didn’t even know he could do.

He offers half of his snack and drink to me.  Every time.  

He naps like a champ.  And I do so love a good nap.

He still wants to hold my hand.

a mother’s love

I realized by Sunday morning, when Mike was getting ready to go and I was still unable to really walk, that I was totally in over my head.  I started making calls.  I appreciate all the help that was offered and I appreciate all the help that I accepted, to then only call back and say was not going to be necessary.  I had made the most important call.

I called my mom.

And I asked her to get on a plane and come here for 3 days, because I needed her.

And she did.

This is a mother’s love.  I called her at 9am and she was sitting in my car with me at 3pm.  It’s the only thing that got me through the day.  I knew I would be able to fall apart after she got here, I just had to last until 3pm.  And I did.

(Dad – I know you would have been here in a heartbeat too, if not for work.  I can rationalize the crazy ticket for one, better than for two.  I love you.)

Having my mom here is about the only time I can be out of commission.  She does everything almost exactly the way I would do it, sometimes better.  She is everything my children needed after being frightened by seeing their mom crying on the kitchen floor, unable to get up.

And to boot she is practiced in healing touch, massage, and all sorts of wonderful healing powers.  After one session last night, I am able to stand, tentatively.  Knowing that I have turned the corner to being able to walk is a huge relief. (Being flat on your back and doing nothing, gives you a lot of time to think.  Thinking is something I need to do less, not more.)

And I understand a mother’s love.  A mother’s love made me even more thankful to have my mom with me as my son continued to break out in crazy hives all over his body.  Hives typically mean he is going to break out in one of his 104ish fevers.  He didn’t act well, didn’t look well, and it was scary.  He needed me, but I could do little.

I was given strict orders from my mom that she would take care of the kids throughout the night and I was to sleep, relax and heal.  Those of you who know me, know that I co-sleep.  So my mom  co-slept and I  slept alone.  She said she would come and get me if she needed anything, or if Nicholas got worse.

I tried so hard to follow those directions, but when I heard movement at 1:30am I had to hobble up the stairs to see what was going on.  His hives were back but only in his diaper area (as opposed to earlier when they were on his diaper area, both legs, arms, shoulders, back, and ear.)  She gave him more benedryl and everyone went back to sleep.

She checked him every hour for fever and hives.  It is exactly what I would have done.  My mother has given me the gift of teaching me what a mother’s love should be.  And that is how I mother.

Nicholas is happy and perky this morning.  I am hobbling a little less and Nana is making pancakes for the kids.  I think we are all headed back to happy.

Thank you, mom. I love you.