I went for my biennial eye exam on Saturday. I say biennial because every two years I freak out that my eyes are beginning to fail me and that I need glasses. See, I’m about to turn 39 and have never worn contacts or glasses. And everyone, including my doctor tells me those days are numbered. Turning 40 almost guarantees the need for some kind of corrective help.

I always kind of feel like I’m cheating on eye exams. I also want to try to get the right answers. It’s a sickness, but it’s the way I am. So I get nervous. I read a row of letters and I say they seem a tiny bit fuzzy, but I can read them. Just being honest.

Then we start with the clicking. “One or two?” “One or two?” “This or this?” “Now or now?” and I always want to see the options again so I can make sure to get it right, but that’s just silly, and no one has six hours for my exam.

I’m happy to report I got the same result this year that I have gotten the past three times I have gone – I am 20/25 in one eye and 20/30 in the other, but with both eyes I still read 20/20. (Math is not my strong suit, but that seems a little odd to me. I will, though, take it and run for the hills.) So she recommended that I not get any corrective lenses and come back in another year or two. Booyah!

I mentioned that since I don’t really have any experience with needing a prescription, I don’t really know how much of a change warrants another exam. She said it’s not uncommon for my eyes to take a second to adjust from close-up to distance (which is another thing that I have noticed lately) much like an autofocus lens does, so that was a relief too.

But then came the kicker. I have never had my eyes dilated before. So I figured I would go ahead and get that out of the way.

“Your close-up vision will get blurry, but your distance should be OK,” she told me. “In fact, you will have a better idea of what people who need corrective lenses see.”

HOLY CRAP! After my eyes were dilated I had to put my phone away, couldn’t look at anything near me and couldn’t make out the dashboard on the way home. (And yes, I was driving.) Other than being really, really drunk (which is something I strive to avoid), I have never not been able to see like that.

I was extremely thankful for two hours to pass, so I could see normally again. And my “blurry vision” that was bothering me in the last few weeks? Bahahahaha. Nothing. Nothing, compared to the fuzz of confusion from the dilation. But at least now I know the difference.


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