Just a quick list of some things I have learned today:
1. If you want the cookies that you give to the neighbors for the holidays to be perfect, don’t make it a project for you and your five-year-old.
2. The neighbors don’t need perfect cookies. They will be perfectly happy with the artwork of a five-year-old.
3. When you wear a brand new sweater, check it first for the “remove before wearing label.”
4. If you are going to buy two new pairs of jeans when you are feeling super skinny, make sure at least one pair has a little wiggle room.
5. Don’t keep the toothpaste and the Desitin in the same drawer. Just don’t.
6. Don’t ask for an opinion to confirm something you are 99% sure of, unless you are prepared for the other person to 100% disagree.
7. If your husband starts eyeing the wallpaper in yet another room, speak up before he starts peeling. It does neither of you any good to criticize when the walls are half-stripped.
8. Don’t tell your child about a surprise party and then send her to the guest of honor’s house with instructions “Not to talk about it.” Even if she doesn’t talk about it, you will be a nervous wreck.