A small part of the reason I was quiet last week was because it was kind of busy, a lot going on. The main reason I was quiet was fear of jinxing everything.
By the end of the day of Maggie’s surgery, we were all pleasantly surprised at how things were going. I was so afraid if I wrote about it, she would end up having a horrible night. The next day, while not fun, was still better than any of us expected. Again, too frightened to write about it.
It wasn’t until she had a pretty great day and the best night so far, and a better than hoped for morning, did I feel brave enough to proclaim the whole thing a success. In fact, for the most part, she has had a harder time with the strep throat infections than the surgery (partly due to a wonderful narcotic that has eased the pain.) I have had a much better experience than the strep because there has been no vomit. (There, I just said it. No vomit. Squints eyes, hoping I didn’t just upset the vomit kings and queens who will reign down their terror on me.)
We made sure there was a vomit receptacle in every room, because not only would it be vomit, but it would most likely be bloody.
(Sorry, I just fainted.)
My nurse mother gave me permission to run for the hills if Maggie started to vomit. Mom would take care of it.
That made the entire process about a million times easier for me. And it never happened, so great for all of us.
Sorry, a little off topic there. Back to the jinx.
So, I am one of those people who sees signs in things. A friend posted a black bean brownie recipe that intrigued me. I sent it to my mom and we talked about making it. Then a few days later, I got a very similar recipe sent to me from a magazine to which I subscribe. That, to me, is a sign that I need to make those brownies.
I am trying to continue to see signs, but give up a little on jinxes. I don’t think writing about something would make the opposite happen. I don’t think I have that much control over anything.
I recently read an article about positive thinking. I have re-read it a few times since. And still I have been unable to get over my fear of the jinx.
Each day is a new opportunity to meet personal goals. Today, mine is to aspire to do more positive thinking.