I had a interesting chat with a friend today about mothering.  We decided it’s maddening.

We were both having “one of those days.”  I felt hers was way more justified since she has been flying solo for a number of weeks as her husband is away for work.  She felt mine was justified since I have two kids and we have been pretty busy lately.

If only we could be so considerate of ourselves.

But we pick ourselves to death at what we didn’t so right, or what we should have done differently, or why we don’t do more.

And then we get mad.  Mad at the way we handled a situation.  Mad that the children are picking up our cues and handing them back to us three-fold.  And then mad at our reaction to their reaction.  And the cycle continues.

It’s maddening.

I felt she was doing the best she could.  And it’s pretty darn good.

She felt I was doing the best I could.  And she said it’s pretty darn good.

So why can’t we see about ourselves what we see about others?  Is it the perspective that we lack?  Is it society that tells us we have to constantly be doing more?  Better?

We decided to go with calling it maddening,  having a bowl of ice cream (at our respective homes) and talking again tomorrow.  Because by tomorrow, surely, we will have it all figured out.  Or at the least, we will have had ice cream.  Ice cream makes everything better (unless you’re lactose intolerant.  For you – I’ve got nothing.)


3 responses to “maddening

  1. we’re too deep into the daily details to get the big picture, i think.

  2. I agree with Emily. Plus we have much higher expectations of ourselves, I think.

    Santi recently confessed to me that on the days he stops by the store on his way home…

    “based on our conversation before I leave work for home, I carefully decide if I need to buy ice cream too…” (insert Spanish accent).

  3. Yes, I often feel this way too.

    Your post also reminds me of this past weekend’s “For Better or Worse” comic:

    Not exactly the same, but similar!

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