Dwellerton. Dwell-o-rama. Dweller. Dwellista. Dwell. Dwell. Dwell.
Someone help me to stop dwelling.
I have heard all the ideas of living for the moment. Thinking in the present. Enjoying the now.
I am a dweller. Plain and simple. I dwell on past decisions. I dwell on future decisions. I dwell on clutter. I dwell on organization. I dwell on parenting. I dwell on marriage. I dwell on exercise. (Hey, I think I just hit on something – most of those are categories I use to “organize” blog entries.
So maybe I am using the word dwell inappropriately.
Though I do dwell on decisions – past and present. Even if I am suitably happy with a decision, I still dwell on what the alternative would have been. What actions have I set in motion that will have repercussions on down the road?
I am a very imperfect perfectionist. I only want to do it, if I am going to do it well. I think this holds me back in some ways. Unfortunately I see a lot of this in my daughter as well. Maybe seeing it in her has helped me to see it in myself.
When the chiropractor asked me if I prefer the mountains or the beach, I had to pause and go into a three prong if/and/then scenario. Seriously? Mountains or beach? Did you have to think just now? Did you have a quick answer?
I spend so much time in my own head, it’s amazing I am able to form relationships outside of my own brain. My husband always says he can see the wheels turning in my head. I think it scares him a little. It scares me a little.
But hey, let’s not dwell on it, shall we?