Dwellerton.  Dwell-o-rama.  Dweller.  Dwellista.  Dwell.  Dwell.  Dwell.

Someone help me to stop dwelling.

I have heard all the ideas of living for the moment.  Thinking in the present.  Enjoying the now.

I am a dweller.  Plain and simple.  I dwell on past decisions.  I dwell on future decisions.  I dwell on clutter.  I dwell on organization.  I dwell on parenting.  I dwell on marriage.  I dwell on exercise. (Hey, I think I just hit on something – most of those are categories I use to “organize” blog entries.

So maybe I am using the word dwell inappropriately.

Though I do dwell on decisions – past and present.  Even if I am suitably happy with a decision, I still dwell on what the alternative would have been.  What actions have I set in motion that will have repercussions on down the road?

I am a very imperfect perfectionist.  I only want to do it, if I am going to do it well.  I think this holds me back in some ways.  Unfortunately I see a lot of this in my daughter as well.  Maybe seeing it in her has helped me to see it in myself.

When the chiropractor asked me if I prefer the mountains or the beach, I had to pause and go into a three prong if/and/then scenario.  Seriously?  Mountains or beach?  Did you have to think just now?  Did you have a quick answer?

I spend so much time in my own head, it’s amazing I am able to form relationships outside of my own brain.  My husband always says he can see the wheels turning in my head.  I think it scares him a little.  It scares me a little.

But hey, let’s not dwell on it, shall we?


2 responses to “dwell

  1. I feel that way sometimes too–have you ever seen the movie “Sliding Doors” with Gwenyth Paltrow?! It is probably my favorite and it deals with this whole idea on the big screen…check it out sometime, brigid! 🙂

  2. Sara – that movie is one of my favorites too. I sometimes describe things as a “sliding door moment.” I haven’t seen it in awhile though, so maybe it’s time to watch it again! Thanks.

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