why all the whining?

The whining and moaning (not the good kind) and yelling that is going on in this house right now is about to push me right over the edge.  I am partly to blame for some of it (like whining when my husband asks to go watch football on a Saturday when he is going to be gone all day Sunday watching football.   Actually I didn’t even whine.  I played silent martyr and he totally didn’t get it.  Or he did get it and figured he’d get out while I was being silent.)

But the main source of the whining right now is coming from the four year old.  I think she has forgotten how to talk.  She only whines.  It’s becoming such a habit for her that she automatically goes right to the whine for everything.  It’s killing me.  I keep asking her what whining gets her and her answer is always “nothing,” and yet she persists. I know that some major changes need to take place because the whining has gotten steadily worse for the last few weeks.

It’s sucking the energy out of me. It’s sucking the pleasure out of family dinner. It’s sucking the fun out of daily events. It’s sucking the wonder out of Christmas. It’s sucking the little patience I have left into a tear running down my face.

I need to do something drastic. I’m either going to have to tape record her and play the whining back for her like some old torture method, or I’m going to have to stage some totally crazy day that keeps her so busy she forgets to whine to break the cycle (though I doubt I have the energy, resources or means to do that) or simply ignore her when she whines. I tried the later for part of today and it is exhausting. If I thought it was working, I would totally dig in and continue, but the thought of doing that tomorrow while I’m solo all day is daunting, to say the least. (It’s funny, I am totally fine during the week alone with the kids, but on a Sunday it’s like someone asked me to watch an entire village.) When I ignore the whining, the whining gets louder. We even came up with a codeword so I could point out the times she was whining and she would know that I did, in fact, hear her, but was ignoring the whine. Didn’t help.

I welcome any and all suggestions. I have a theory that involves the phone and the computer. As in – she is telling me to unplug. I will try tomorrow to set aside a few minutes during the day to surf/talk and then I will devote the rest of the day to the children to see if that helps. I cannot, however, not attend to my son, which seems to be another trigger. Seriously though, trigger was a week ago. Now it is anytime her mouth is open. Whining right now is a little like breathing for her.

I wonder where on earth she gets it?


One response to “why all the whining?

  1. i am totally forwarding this to my husband because Z whines all the time. this is, apparently, what four-year-olds DO. i ignore it and explain very simply that i do not understand him when he whines. i also model the way he could say it. but, he gets nothing until he asks properly.

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