speak, Gloria

Gloria is our GPS system.  Maggie named her Gloria because she thought it sounded like the penguin from Happy Feet.  I like the name and it has stuck.  Gloria lets us know which way to go.  My sense of direction  is worse than a ______.  (Fill in the blank with the worst thing you can think of.  I’m  worse than that.)  Gloria also lets us know when traffic is bad.

Gloria sometimes interrupts during a trip to say “Your route is being recalculated due to traffic.”

“We don’t like traffic!” Maggie replies.

Well, on my journey from my home to my parents’ home I was kind of relying on Gloria.  During the first part of our journey, my kids and I spent the night in the city I grew up in.  To many, that would mean I would know my way around.  That is sooo not the case.  I hadn’t been there in about 10 years, give or take.  I was heavily relying on Gloria.

And then Gloria got laryngitis.

She stopped talking altogether.  Not good.

So for the bulk of the trip on the first day I was on my own.  Well, to be honest I had already pulled the directions up on my phone prior to leaving.  It is a fairly straight shot with one major turn.  Pretty simple, yet I was really kind of thrown that Gloria was ignoring me when I needed her most.

I spent a good chunk of time trying to figure out why she was suddenly so quiet.  I guess I got myself a bit flustered because I didn’t even notice I was getting low on gas.  I heard the ding of the fuel indicator and realized I wasn’t going to make it without stopping.  So after stopping to pump gas in a much colder climate than I am used to, I was tickled when I restarted the car and Gloria started singing out directions.  Maggie and I were so surprised.  And happy.  And relieved.

I think I did some combination of turning the key and blinking twice while the back hatch was open.  This crazy car has all sorts of hidden codes that I don’t begin to understand, but stumble into with some amount of frequency.  All I know is Gloria loves me again and I made it everywhere I needed to go without getting lost.

GPS was invented with me in mind.  The ironic thing is as we were stopping for lunch I thought to myself -self, this thing could lead you nowhere and you would follow it.  Maybe you ought to prepare just a bit and not rely on technology so much.  A map is a useful tool.

Moments later when my GPS went on strike, out came a map (on a screen, but a map nonetheless.)  As someone who has literally driven the wrong direction and ended up in ANOTHER STATE, (more than once) I will try to find out what makes Gloria happy and keep her that way, but I will keep a map handy just in case.


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