swirl of green, blue and black

I have decided I am a walking mood ring.  I just can’t seem to hide my emotions lately.  If I’m mad, everyone knows it.  If I am sad, everyone knows it.  If I am tired, everyone knows it.  And when I’m happy, thankfully, everyone knows it.

I wish I could hide my emotions a little better.  I want to be a little harder to read.  Especially in front of my family.  I would like to be able to not like something and not have it take over the next hour of my life.  I would like to get annoyed with my children without them feeling they are annoying.  I would like to disagree with my husband without feeling anger.  I would like to be perturbed at the hostess at the restaurant without ruining breakfast for everyone else.

I suppose there are some merits to being an open book.  My oldest child (ripe old 4yo) knows me well enough to give me some space when I’m really mad.  My husband knows when I’m over whatever trivial thing was bugging me when my mood changes back to normal.

I guess, like everything in life, it’s all about finding a balance.  I like to be honest.  I like to be open.  I like to be honestly open and openly honest.  I need to find a way to do so without wearing my heart on my sleeve and letting my emotions get the best of me.  I let strangers off the hook for things that really bother me, and then hold my dearest ones accountable for things that are inconsequential. 

Maybe I’m just too tired and stressed right now to make any sense.  I can’t seem to get my point across and I don’t even think I care right now.  See what I mean about knowing when I’m tired?

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One response to “swirl of green, blue and black

  1. Brigid, I am so with you on this. I am going through this very thing myself … totally relating. Maybe this is just part of being a woman. Maybe it’s something life will smooth away and experience will teach us. But if you have any epiphanies, please share!

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